


I'll carry you, piece by piece

by xxambreignsxx



Category: Professional Wrestling, WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Apologies, But Seth's a changed man now, Dean has mental health issues, Dean's broken, Heavy Thick Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by the emotionally loaded beat down, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Past Psychological/Emotional Abuse, Post RAW where Dean turned on Seth and had a complete break down in the middle of the ring, Seth is not ready to loose Dean, So is Seth to be honest, emotional breakdowns, only Dean's traumatized by the past, rocky relationship, that got triggered by most recent events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 18:08:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16500224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxambreignsxx/pseuds/xxambreignsxx
Summary: They say trauma is complex. Seth finds out what he did in the past will leave a mark on their future no matter how many times Seth tries to redeem himself.Where Dean snaps and hurt Seth before Seth can hurt him again.Aftermath of Dean's turn on Seth 2 weeks ago at RAW.





	I'll carry you, piece by piece

**Author's Note:**

> So that was one of the most emotionally charged turn I have ever seen. There's a lot of discussions about how different Dean's turn was, how he seemed like a broken shattered man. I wrote a lot of metas on tumblr that would reflect what I am trying to portray in this fic. If it seems a little rusty or all over the place, remember the Roman news had stunned me greatly. I almost gave up on writing completely, but then decided to use it as a coping mechanism since I am still not being able to cope properly.
> 
> Also, I will most probably post another version of this. More angsty and dark.

Seth’s whole body was sore, eyes red and tired. The weight of gold he was carrying tonight not giving his shattered heart any comfort. His whole life seemed to be in shambles. One night, one night it all took to take away everything Seth held dear to his heart and soul.

Exhaustion and pain was begging Seth to stop roaming around unfamiliar streets and simply go to his hotel, find his room, get in his bed and let his body and mind rest. But his heart was aching, his arms too lonely and the urge to get Dean back in the safety of his arms despite what transpired between them a few hours ago was stronger. Seth lost a part of him tonight, he was not ready to lose the other part of him too. Even though Dean had made it pretty clear through his actions he didn’t share the sentiment. Seth needed to find his boy and bring him home. For himself, for his family but most importantly for Dean. Seth knew well enough he wasn’t the only broken man tonight.

Seth’s phone vibrated in his pocket, he pulled it out and frowned when he saw Finn’s number on the screen. It was past 2 at night, not the time he expected a call from his colleague and friend.

“Finn?”

“Hey man. I just…Where are you?”

The voice of his friend was tense, putting Seth on edge instantly. “Why?”

“Listen Seth..I…I found your boy passed out in the halls. I don’t know if he’s still your boy or not but I didn’t know who to call…I tried getting him up but he’s like a wild animal…I don’t think its safe for him to…”

Seth rushed past the street he was searching through and quickly making his way towards his car. His heart beating fast as he cut Finn off, his voice desperate as he begged into the phone. “Please, Finn, make sure he stays there. Keep an eye on him. I am coming right now. It won’t take too long. Just make sure he’s safe.”

Seth heard a sigh of relief from the other end, before the Irish accent filled his ears again. “Cool dude. I ain’t going anywhere. Just get here as soon as you can. He is a…mess.”

Seth felt his heart clenching in his chest, the need to get to Dean making him speed which was a rare occurrence. He felt tears prickling at the corner of his eyes, his heart hammering away in his chest. He knew this wouldn’t be easy…but he also knew there was no way he was gonna let Dean go this easily. He did that once before and he regretted it every single day of his remaining life. Whatever was happening, wherever they were, Seth felt responsible to fix this mess. Only if he didn’t put all those scars on Dean’s body and psyche four years ago, maybe all of this wouldn’t be happening.

* * *

 

The sight that met Seth’s eyes when he finally reached his destination was heart wrenching to say the least. Finn was sitting on the floor, head resting against the wall and from across him was Dean. Dean had his knees pulled up against his chest, his face buried in his knees as his body shook slightly. Finn wasn’t wrong. He did look like a complete mess.

Finn’s eyes fell onto Seth as Seth came closer, a relief washing over his face as Seth gave him a small nod. Finn got up and walked towards Seth, reaching up to pat at his shoulder comfortingly. “For what its worth, I am sorry bout everything you guys had to endure tonight. Its not fair, but when is life right?”

Seth sighed and wiped away at his cheek, the tears once again slipping out. He seemed to have no control over them tonight it seemed. His eyes were focused on Dean’s hunched out form, he turned to look at Finn and mouthed a ‘thank you’. Finn gave him a comforting smile before motioning towards Dean. “All yours. Seth, he needs you more than anything. Despite what he tells you, just know you don’t wanna give up on him this easily.”

Seth watched Finn leave, his words leaving a heavy weight on Seth’s shoulder. He took a deep breath and walked over towards Dean, kneeling down and reaching out to touch at his head hesitantly. Blood shot eyes snapped open to look at Seth, a frown appearing on Dean’s pale face as he curled on himself, shaking off Seth’s hand like it burned him. Seth closed his eyes, trying to not let that hurt too much.

“Why are you here?” 

Dean sounded as broken as he looked. Seth shook his head and sighed sadly, “Where else would I be?”

Dean let out a harsh laugh, his lips twisted in a snarl as he glared at Seth. Seth shifted to sit cross legged in front of him, leaning his elbows on his knees as he sighed deeply. “I don’t know why you did what you did. I know I should ask, but I don’t wanna know. All I need is you to come home to me. Please Deano. I need you.” Seth’s voice was shaky and desperate.

Dean shook his head, leaning his head back against the wall as he looked up at the ceiling. Seth watched as tears started to leak from Dean’s eyes, his body trembling slightly as he cried. “And I need Ro. But I can’t have him can I?”

Seth’s heart felt like it would explode any minute, the pain becoming too intense. This right here was his lover breaking down and destructing everything and anything in his pathway. Seth knew he couldn’t blame Dean. He took this away from Dean. He took the trust and faith Dean had in him and tarnished it in a way that was probably irreparable. Still, Seth wasn’t ready to walk away. Let Dean slip out of his fingers just yet. Being with Dean meant nothing but pain and sorrow, but for once instead of running away Seth wanted to stand by his side and hold him through it all. Prove he wouldn’t leave like Dean expects him to. Now how he was suppose to get there was the million dollar question.

Seth closed his eyes and dropped his head low, struggling to find words that wouldn’t sound hollow and empty. He finally settled down on saying the three words that he had been saying a lot in the last few months.

“I am sorry. I don’t know what else to say…I wish he was here too. But I am still here. So are you Dean. I can’t be without you right now. When I know you need me the most.”

Dean straightened his head to glare at Seth, his voice full of venom as he spat, “Why now? You left me before. You are gonna do it again. Specially now. I can’t…You can’t break me again Seth…I am not gonna give you that power.”

Seth’s face twisted painfully, his mind buzzing with anxiety as he listened to Dean’s words. His words seemed to not have any impact, any weightage, his own emotions and pain threatened to take over and make him snap. Yell and scream in rage. But he couldn’t. Not when Dean looked like he was this close to crumbling into tiny little pieces. Seth wasn’t any better though, that was the saddest part.

Seth shook his head, his eyes wet with angry tears. “For fuck sake…Dean...Please...I can’t give up on you…I can’t…You have to understand…I am not going anywhere…I am not leaving you again…I can’t be without you..” Seth babbled, his words no longer making any sense but he didn’t know what else to say.  

A scream ripped out of Dean’s throat, startling Seth from his own breakdown. He opened his eyes and watched as Dean covered his ears with his hands, shaking his head as he closed his eyes, a painful expression on his face. “Don’t do that…Stop doing that..”

“Deano…” Seth’s voice cracked, he failed to stop himself and before he knew it Dean was flinching away from his touch violently, pushing himself against the wall even further. Seth let go as quickly as he had grabbed Dean.

“‘s okay…I am not touching you, okay? Please Baby calm down..Please…” Seth raised his hands, eyes pleading and leaking with tears. 

Dean continued to shake his head, harsh sobs wracked out of his body as he buried his face in his knees again. “Leave me ‘lone. Just…leave me the fuck alone…”

Seth shifted over to sit besides Dean, his own back pressing against the wall as he dropped his head against the wall. He closed his eyes and let tears spill freely, his heart heavy and aching painfully inside his chest as he listened to the cries of his lover. He thought back to four years ago when things weren’t like this…When life with Dean wasn’t always so hot and cold. When Dean would bundle himself up against Seth’s chest and let Seth soothe away all his worries and fears. When all Seth had to do was whisper sweet nothings in Dean's ear and make love to him to wash away all of his insecurities. The one screw up of his life that costed him life long trust of someone who meant the most to him.

“I am not leaving Dean. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever. If you fall, I am gonna be there to catch you. But if you won't let me do that, if you won't let me save you, I'll fall with you. Its me and you, no matter what. I am not ever leaving you again. I can’t do that to you. Or me. I am sorry…I can say that over and over again but it doesn’t matter…It doesn’t erase anything no matter how bad I want it to. But there’s no me without you. There simply isn't.” Seth’s words were laced with anguish, his voice turning to almost a whisper as he finished. He didn’t dare to look at Dean. Not having the heart to see those eyes look at him with distrust and venom. He simply closed his eyes and let Dean cry his heart out. 

Minutes passed, probably hours. Seth wasn’t sure. Exhaustion and sadness had blurred everything, but at least Dean had stopped crying. Seth’s own eyes no longer teary, it felt like he too was out of tears for the night. Seth felt darkness creeping in, his mind tempted to shut down completely. Just when he was on the verge of passing out, he felt movement besides him and soon a cold body was pressing against his. He froze on spot, eyes opening to find Dean resting his head against Seth’s chest, arm going around his waist and hand fisting Seth’s shirt as he clung to him. Dean had managed to curl his long lean limbs somehow, and made himself look so small and vulnerable. It broke Seth’s heart, but at the same time, for the first time since RAW ended, he found this sudden warmness coating his heart. 

Seth slowly hesitantly wrapped one arm around Dean’s body, cradling his head with his other hand and pressing his mouth against Dean’s head. A smile breaking on his lips when Dean didn’t struggle, simply let Seth hold him. Seth felt tears prickling his eyes again, but this time they weren’t painful reminder of everything he lost. This times he was crying because there was still hope. Little, faded, but it was there.

“You’ll leave again.” Dean whispered, voice defeated and filled with sadness. Seth shook his head, pressing his head against Dean’s as he hugged him closer against his body. “Never. Never Baby Boy. I know words mean shit when they come out of my mouth…I know how scared you are…I am too. I am so fucking scared of losing everything. There’s no me without you. You have to believe me. Dean, I love you so fucking much. I am sorry I don’t say that enough. But I do.”

Dean shook his head against Seth’s chest, his face and wet eyes pressing against Seth’s chest. But all the fight and struggle had left his body. “Don’t…Don’t say you love me. I can’t go through that again..”

Seth grabbed Dean’s face and gently pulled his face up so he could look into his eyes. The fear and pain on Dean’s face felt like sharp jabs at his insides, but he was determined to put all those fears to rest. Even if it was only for tonight. “I won’t hurt you again. I can’t hurt you again. Dean…Please Baby…Just…I can’t loose you now. I do…I do love you so much and I’ll keep saying that until you believe me. I don’t wanna fight…I am tired of this…I am tired of me and you always being like this…Please, let this rest. Let me be there for you.”

Fresh tears dropped out of Dean’s eyes, he shuddered slightly in Seth’s arms as he dropped his gaze low. He put his head on Seth’s shoulder, one hand holding onto Seth’s neck as he said in a small voice, “I am sorry. For everything.”

Seth shifted himself slightly, managing to pull Dean into his lap completely as he held onto his waist tightly. He pressed his mouth against Dean’s temple, a small sad smile appearing on his face as he replied with, “Me too, Babe. Me too.”


End file.
